huyandere:

a little headcanon that fubuki can resist cold better than anyone else
and never cathes a cold. a Strong Boy

Things I’ve Heard While Playing Pokemon Go:

recyclmeme:

• “This really amuses me right now, maybe not in a few days, but let’s go with right now.”
  
• “Look at all the nerds. This is great.”
  
• “What team are you on?”
  
• “We can’t be friends any more, you picked Team ____.”
  
• “Do you know which way the _____ is?”
  
• “Oh hey there’s a ____ nearby…”
  
• “I know there’s a ____ here, and I WILL find it.”
  
• “THAT LITTLE SHIT JUST BROKE ALL MY POKEBALLS!
  
• “Red team’s best team.”
  
• “Wait stop there’s a Tauros right here.”
  
• “There’s a pokemon on your butt right now.”
  
• “GOT IT!”
  
• “I’m so sick of rats and worms…”
  
• “Servers are down again.”
• “This whole park is dominated by Red/Blue/Yellow.”
  
• “Get out of my gym.”
  
• “We gonna fight.”
  
• “I’m going on a pokemon adventure. I’ll be back eventually.”
  
• “I know there’s a pokemon there! I know it! I do!”
  
• “I have mastered the art of the drive by pokestop.”
  
• “Well if it’ll ever let me in…”
  
• “Damnit game crashed.”
  
• “GIVE ME MY POKEMON BACK!”
  
• “I hate zubat, they’re weird to catch.” 
  
• “Hold on wait my egg is hatching.”
  
• “I’ll be here.”
  
• “Do you need me to slow down?”
  
• “Stop the car.”
  

Introduce your muse!

name: gouenji shuuya
age: 18
height: 5′9″
eye color: black
hair color: bond white
sexual orientation: bisexual
species: human
nationality: japanese
positive weaknesses: his boyfriend in general, hand holding, cheek kisses, rainy mornings
allergies: none
fears: not being good enough at his work
how sickly they are: often, but not too often. about once or twice a year
how often do they hurt themselves: other then past injuries, not very often since he is very careful with what he does. but if he isn’t paying attention, he hurts himself
relationship status: taken by a icicle dick, fubuki

memesandthings:

TEXT MESSAGE STARTERS !

Send one of the prompts below to get a response from my muse.

drunk texts:

• ( ✉ → sms ) plea se eh elep me im drunk and i dotn know whe re i am
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i fukcing miss yo u
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i look so fuckigjn GOOD
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i csnst stop throwiging up
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) fu ck you  for hurting me
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) why dotn you ever call me anymore huh
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) stop being so fuckigjn borign and coekm to my party
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i dropped my pzziza o nt eh floror im fuckgin pissed
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i j sut left you a 3 mintue long voicemail singing. sorry
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) even when i’m durnk ic ant sotp thinking about oyu
  

hateful texts:

• ( ✉ → sms ) you’re pathetic
• ( ✉ → sms ) you make me miserable
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) fuck you. delete my number.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) you never meant anything to me, anyway.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) fuck your apologies, you can keep them.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) congrats on always ruining everything
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) my life would be so much easier without you.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) and next time you feel like calling me… don’t.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i don’t want anything to do with you anymore.
• ( ✉ → sms ) if your goal was to make me hate you, then congratulations. mission accomplished.

misc/random texts:

• ( ✉ → sms ) i think my neighbor is an alien.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) help me think of a name for my new dog
• ( ✉ → sms ) sooooo… what was your first impression of me
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) should i get pizza or chicken wings for dinner?
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) no one’s ever made me feel the way you do.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i borrowed your weed. hope you don’t mind.
• ( ✉ → sms ) why do they say drugs are bad when they make you feel so good
• ( ✉ → sms ) today is the oldest you’ve ever been, but the youngest you’ll ever be again…
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) [ File Attached: 001329.jpg ] of all the drunk pictures i have of you, this one is my favorite.
  
• ( ✉ → sms ) i used your pics to catfish someone, and since they bought me a laptop… you have a date with them tomorrow.
  

bbcmycroftarchive:

shit me and my girlfriend say to each other

“I’m the best but so are you.” 
”A man just gave me fruit. In a flirty way. I don’t know what to do.”
“Tell him that you are taken and have someone who can also provide fruit.” 
“You girlfriended me for a reason & that is my knowledge of noodles.” 
“I’m only in it for your stove skills.” 
“Or you just didn’t think that the embodiment of evil wore dresses.” 
“I have a problem and it’s called retail therapy.” 
“Oh my god, your dad is attractive.” 
“Aren’t I amazing?” 
“You better not be floorgying.” 
“‘Fine’ equals fightin’ words.” 
“Don’t mutiny, friend.” 
“If you’re an asshole and you know it clap your hands.” 
“I’m apparently dating them both even though they’re not dating.” 
“I thought you were dating me.” 
“[Name] and I are measuring all of our body parts for some reason.” 
“My big toe is apparently three inches around.” 
“Is it bad that I’ve been wearing the same shirt for three days?” 
“So I went into her room and started screaming.” 
“Do you have a chainsaw I can borrow?” 
“Oh my god, you’re such a cat lady.” 
“I need a How to Stop Worrying 101.” 
“I’m terrible at being an adult.” 
“I decided not to have feelings when I was 11.” 
“I mean, technically it’s illegal to send humans in the mail but we can work around that.” 
“I’m about to commit murder.” 
“You’re pretty awesome, too, I guess.” 
“There are no handcuff emojis. This is upsetting.” 
“Please stop me from strangling somebody.”
“I bet saving the vacuum was fun for her.” 
“Anyone who visits the school & sees you will be so enchanted.” 
“Okay, I did the adult thing and showered.” 
“I should probably shave my legs soon.” 
“So, my dad is in jail.” 
“But how can I be alive if I’m not experiencing negative emotions?” 
“I’m basically a cat.” 
“The coffee has its grubby little hands in your life now.” 
“It’s unsolicited dick pics but from a cat.” 
“I had a dream that your shirtless dad tried to kill me.”
“Come on, kitty, show me your goddamn penis.” 
“I stabbed someone in the eye thirty minutes ago.” 
“Of course it was your ability to use a range that led me to discover my true feelings for you.” 
“You deserve the book of shame right now.” 
“I like being paid attention to.”
“I think we’re at the point in our relationship where I can take you to the bathroom with me when I have to pee.”